Monday, January 26, 2009

Traveler underestimates the weight of her backpack

Dallas, Texas-- Betty Teaspoon, a young traveler headed to South America, suffocated last night after being trapped for almost six hours under her own backpack.
Her father warned her that her pack was too heavy but she insisted that everything in it was necessary. "As soon as it reached 73 lbs I thought 'this is absurd!', but she's always been hard headed. She liked to do things her own way and if she thought she needed that six pack of LoneStar and gallon of salsa to remind her of home, by god she would have it."
"I just didn't see it coming." says her mother, "I warned her about being sold into white slavery. I warned her about wandering off into the desert (she tends to do that) and being attacked by iguanas. I even warned her about the dangers of the coca plant; I mean it took me years to rid myself of that habit. But I was the one who made her add that eighth bottle of spf 50 sunscreen. I just didn't want her to get sunburned."
We all worry about the dangers of traveling. Pick pockets, muggers, they're all on our minds. But no one expects the danger to set in before the trip even starts. "She had been working out so regularly," her sister comments, "we all thought she could handle it. I guess now I get to keep all her clothes permanently; before she was only going to let me borrow them while she was away. And at least I won't have to buy sunscreen next summer."


  1. Oh .... MY... GOD! We have decided that you're a GENIUS! This is hilarious and wonderful - I'll check it every single day. I love you!!!

  2. I still like Distance Makes the Soul Grow Stronger: Confessions of a Post-Teenage Runaway, and then The Liscenced Motorcyclists' Diaries.

  3. Yay honey yay! I'm watching you. Do great things!

  4. smothered by the monstrous bottle of sunscreen muahahaa! cant wait for more adventures :)

  5. "Of the gladest moments in human life, methinks is the departure upon a distant journey to unknown lands. Shaking off with one mighty effort the fetters of habit, the leaden weight of Routine, the cloak of many Cares and the Slavery of Home, man feels once more happy. The blood flows with the fast circulation of childhood....afresh dawns the morn of life..."
    - Sir Richard Francis Burton

    This made us think of you! we love you so!
    Erin & JC